The Beginning Journeys

As you may know K is on a school trip to Paris, France.  She left yesterday. There were many parents there excitedly seeing their children off and there were some tears on the part of mostly moms.  As the bus pulled away, one of the moms that I had been standing with turns to me and says, “I don’t understand the tears; that some moms were crying.  I mean you have paid for this trip; you knew they were going.  This is supposed to be happy and exciting for them and parents should be happy that they are getting this experience.” Now this mom was right that this is an awesome experience and I believe even the tearful moms were excited for their children, after all they did pay for this trip. My response to this mom was, “I know.  But I will miss my daughter.”  Here is where the other mom lost her wisdom.  She answered, “sure you’ll miss her.  You’ll miss her doing the dishes and cleaning.  The babysitting.” I did not have the time to say what I will be saying in just a few moments nor do I think this mom was being rude; I think she was keeping the mood light (I hope) and in the same vein I joked-” I’ll miss the grunts passing as hello as she disappears upstairs into her room.”  But this is what I really wanted to say:  I don’t understand parents who view their kids as the charges who they just have to take care of until they’re grown.  I understand that part of parenting is pushing your children to grow and have new experiences.  I do understand that we have to let them go; that they have their own lives to live. But I don’t understand the glee (not to be mistaken with the pride we have in our children) some parents take in that.  The idea that there is a finish line and then you get your life back is foreign to me.  I like my life this way.  My kids are not burdens and they’ve not taken life away from me.  My children have enhanced my life.  I am a better person for knowing them.  I genuinely like my girls; I am proud of them.  I don’t want to raise them and then ditch them to get on with my interrupted life.  I want to raise them and then get to know them as the wonderful adults I know they will be.  So yes, I am going to miss my oldest daughter.  I am going to miss her, not the things she can do around the house; just the being who is K.  And yes, I shed some tears yesterday as I drove away from the school after the bus left.  You see from the days that each of my children were born I’ve known that I will have to let them go.  The time that I get to have them physically under my roof is fleeting.  These wonderful experiences, the trips abroad and stateside are the beginnings of the girls having their own lives.  It is exciting and sad and I will miss the energy that they bring into the house but I am happy for the fact that being mom will never be done.