Sunday marked the midway point between my turning 42 and my daughter Morgan’s 18th Birthday. In a way this year is a pivotal year for both of us. Morgs is turning 18 and will be what I call a Junior Adult. The whole world is there for her taking. Her life is made of endless possibilities and opportunity. Everything is beginning for her. It’s amazing and beautiful to watch. I couldn’t be a happier or more proud parent. She deserves a shiny rose colored world. It’s not there but she has the means to create the best world for herself.
New and beginnings are words I expect to use for an 18 year old but not for myself. But here I am. My 41st year was by far the worst year of my life, thus far. I experienced a loss and betrayal that I had never expected to experience. I was literally broken and I truly thought I was lost. I’ve heard the phrase “darkest hour” bandied about before and I can tell you that I now know what it is to be there. I was drowning and felt that I’d never have light or happiness again. I was and am lucky because I have this amazing group of people in my life, old friends, new friends, family, friends who are family and friends I didn’t even know I had, who were never going to let me drown in that overwhelming darkness. I am truly blessed; truly lucky. The start of my 42nd year has been truly pivotal. I have immersed myself in passions and interests that I have long forgotten. I am searching for myself and have found pieces of myself that had fled and hid for years. I have accepted that the sadness and pain I’ve had over the past year was necessary; that it was important to propel my life forward in a new direction. I embrace this new direction with hope, love, and optimism. I, too, am standing on the precipice of change and new beginnings. It is the most wonderful gift to have been given.